Time - Brazil's Last Taboo

Punctual College - Teaching Brazil about time

Watches are for fools in this place. It is probably the worst possible thing you could buy. Recife sits on a fault line, a mental Bermuda Triangle. Once you (or any electronic devices) enter this space your internal clock twists and then ticks less than it used to. This can be treated, but like emerging from the deep, if you force it you get time bends.

A quick survey of wrists on the bus reveals that time is being abused in Recife. On average there is a twenty-minute margin of error. Though you do get the impression that about half the passengers wear watches the way kids dress up in their parent’s clothes. Thankfully bus stops don’t bother with timetables so nobody is disappointed. If you have no timeframe for anything then you can’t be late. And in Brazil the only people who are early are foreigners.

The concept of time came late to Brazil and as a result is still tussling for legroom. The south of the country had the good fortune to be colonized by large amounts of Germans. The first wave began arriving in the 1820s and a steady influx of eager immigrants combined with a healthy birthrate saw clocks smiling in Rio Grande do Sul, Santa Catarina and Paraná. The founding fathers of Brazilian independence must have had an eye cocked south when they put the Ordem e Progresso slap bang in the middle of the new flag. But then it all went badly wrong.

Brazil o'clock

In the late 1880s the slave trade was finally being put to bed in Brazil. The powers that be decided that a new wave of 'immigration' was needed. And in what must rank as one of the most catastrophic organizational decisions a newly independent nation has made, Italy was targeted. And the Italians came and kept coming until all the good work the Germans had done was made redundant.

It probably started out harmlessly enough. A young Sicilian got a job winding the town clocks and before the local Burgermeister could fire him a union had been set up. Control of the local stage coaches was wrested from the reliable Schülz Brüders leaving a trail of frustrated Fräuleins waiting at sausage shops for the Fabulous  Fibonacci Brothers to arrive and take them home in time to cook lunch.

While things never got as bad as mobs going about town snapping clock hands from their faces or elderly gentlemen being forced to watch their time pieces being stamped into the dirt, there was a steady decline. A hidden, sickly abuse of time. This suspicion loomed large until recently. Even the military dictatorship was at a loss on how to synchronize watches.  The 1964 coup d’état looks all the more impressive given the obstacles watch synchronage must have posed to the army in those nervous hours on the morning of 31 March 1964.  These were pre-mobile phone days too. At least today if you call a Brazilian friend to enquire why he isn’t at the pre-arranged meeting point (a bar) he will say:

I’m arriving! Relax. Take a beer! What time is it? Nine already?! I’m on the bus. I’ll be there in 5. *

Apparently the military took power in one day. The winners write the history and all that...

There are other theories as to why time is the red headed stepchild of Brazilian society. One of the more interesting is related to the African slave concept of time. More slaves were shipped across the Atlantic to Brazil than anywhere else. The average African had planned his day around events rather than the clock. The day was divided into periods rather than set blocks of time. The sun rose so you got up and I dunno, went for a hunt and then had some lunch, did some business and then the sun went down.** With such a huge influx of people came their ideas of time. This is especially prevalent in the northeast, which was where the majority were sent to do backbreaking work on the sugar plantations of Bahia and Pernambuco. You can still see the influence today, as your average Recifense is particularly adept at avoiding giving you a set time.

I’ll see you after lunch!

Leonardo will say - which can be anytime after lunch that day and before lunch the next – though it will, in fairness, be generally in the same calendar week. On the occasions you do nail down a time your appointment will be late or call an hour later to cancel.

The northeast has always been Brazil’s mezzogiorno, and like in Italy it has been the victim of mass emigration to the industrialized regions, and hence a major contributor to the slow creep of time abuse throughout the country. However, there are some bright spots emerging. Pernambuco Gypsy has had the pleasure to witness two such movements.

Curitiba - round bus stops

The first was in Curitiba, where a conscious effort was made to change the denizen’s attitude towards the wonders of timekeeping. Curitiba is seen as the most organized, green and forward thinking city in Brazil. Part of this drive involved the simple idea of erecting lots of real clocks on the streets. Simple. People would set their watches by them. It was easy to see who was late and who wasn’t. And now they have bus timetables and fancy shaped bus terminals – a sure sign of progress.

The second is a revolutionary new kindergarten school in Recife. Colégio Pontual, or Punctual College, is leading the way in the way clock reading. Successful applicants must be able to select a clock from a line up that also consists of a cucumber, a dog and a mirror (a digital watch is used when applications exceed places). It is too early to tell whether the programme will change hearts and minds. ***

But then Brazil wouldn’t be Brazil if things worked properly. Who cares if the plans for the Brazil 2014 are staggeringly behind schedule? It’ll happen, so get your bets down on Neymar arriving late in the box to bag the winner against Argentina in World Cup Final. The only time Brazil understands is party time!

* Brazilian gets up from sofa, thinks worse of it and sits back down for a bit. Gets up again and takes a shower before calling his mum while looking at himself topless in a mirror. Then leaves to wait for the bus but decides a quick manicure would be a good option and gets talking to the girl who is doing his nails and gets her number before deciding to wait for her to finish work to go for a drink. Answers phone apologetically and assures you he is literally a minute from the bar and would it be cool if his new girlfriend came?

** A vast simplification obviously.

*** Banks here are particularly vague; one calls itself Banco 24 Horas while others tell you they are open 30 hours a day.